Now that I am in private practice, one of the aspects of commuting to an office that I don’t miss, is the rushed early morning routine. I am a woman who embraces thrift of time in the a.m. I’m not someone who moseyed my way through my morning…waking up an hour early to sip coffee, read the paper and take care of small domestic tasks. I always set my alarm to the exact time it would take to shower, get dressed, eat a piece of toast, make coffee and get my dog outside. I would get into my car, put the peddle to the metal and speed down the Durham Freeway towards Cary. Rush, rush, rush. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn the better way to get to work until after Hurricane Katrina hiked our gas prices up to $3.00 a gallon for the first time in 2005. Even though I presently sit in complacent acceptance of prices inching towards $4.00 a gallon, the lessons of that time begin to ring in my head once again.
Right after the hurricane there was one week of panic when people feared there wouldn’t be enough gas. Colleagues at work started talking about carpooling. I admit to the selfish dislike of riding on other people’s schedules and passed on the offers. A newspaper article had the solution for appeasing my guilt; improving gas mileage by driving 60mph instead of my usual 70+mph.
The first day didn’t go so well. I got into the right lane and tried to hold my foot to 60mph. It was just so annoying. The cars in front of me were going so slowly and the cars in the left lane were zooming passed at tantalizing speeds. A state of anxiousness built as it felt that everyone was going to get to the party before me, and I’d be left out. I passed a few people, at times glancing at the drivers to see what type of person really likes to drive that slow.
The second day I decided that if I was going to hold my speed I would have to set the cruise control. Over to the right lane I went again. The cruise control did the trick. I only had to pass a couple of cars going even slower than 60mph. After getting outside of Durham downtown, I took a deep breath and told myself that I might as well relax and enjoy the ride.
By the third day I found that I was completely relaxed on my ride. I realized that every morning I was starting my day with a huge adrenalin rush. Adrenalin can sometimes feel exciting and empowering, but I discovered that in the morning this adrenalin was just stressing me out. When keyed up after my commute, I was more susceptible to becoming irritated at my computer, coworkers and life on a whole.
Like an adrenalin junkie, that first week I looked over at the left lanes with longing, however, this feeling quickly abated. After that first week, I began to see my slow ride to work as a metaphor for how I wanted to start my day and even live my life. Ultimately, my slower pace only got me to work about 3-5 minutes later than I would normally. I was adding all that stress for just a couple of minutes in time. In the right lane on cruise, I didn’t have to strategize which lane was fastest or how to navigate through the obstacle course of cars and trucks in my way. In the right lane I could just breathe, relax and start my day on a note of calm.
Ultimately, I began to gladly look towards the left lanes to watch as cars whizzed past me. It was as if I was in on a hidden secret. I was relieved that I was choosing not to partake in the fast paced madness that has been embraced by many in our society. I can see now that I used to see the drivers of slow cars as annoying slackers. I saw right lane crawlers as unproductive people who obviously were going no where fast in life. I saw their slowness as mild stupidity, fear of driving or a lack of confidence. Little did I know that while all of the possibilities may be fact, these drivers could also be the holders of a greater truth; slow and steady wins the race. Busting a gut over a couple of minutes on the highway in actually might be the more ridiculous reality.
Our society influences us into believing that faster is better and that doing nothing is unproductive. We have become conditioned like Pavlov’s dog to check emails, cell phones and text messages incessantly. We may ask ourselves what is wrong with us if we are not receiving messages. At home and in cars we have radios, I-Pods and televisions going. Information is coming at us at every moment. We need to be conscious of how much of this information is truly necessary and how much is just noise. We have actually gotten to the point that when the noise stops, we go through withdrawal. Silences, slowness and stillness have become uncomfortable, sometimes intolerable.
Even though I no longer have a morning commute, I have tried to find other pockets of small time to slow down. If there are delays in the store checkout line, instead of rolling my eyes, I take the couple extra minutes to breath. When someone stops when the light turns yellow instead of allowing us to rush through, I used to grip the wheel and tense up. Now I breathe out and remind myself it is only an extra minute in my day. In that moment I might notice the changing color of the sky, a funny bumper sticker or an interesting person walking by. Or I might just have a moment to not think at all, a rest of mind. Instead of going up, my stress goes down. As with my commute to work, it takes conscious effort to slow down at first. However in time, not rushing just becomes a way of living. At the end of the day I don’t feel like I have lost time, but instead gained peace.
Life is good in the right lane.